Ugh

Last night was a nightmare. Tehilla is refusing to eat anything but nurse. She clamps her mouth shut and spits out any formula I manage to get in. I even tried with a syringe. She's a smart little cookie. 

My milk is low. She is not getting enough to eat, so she is going down in weight and is irritable. She is barely peeing because she doesn't have what to give. She is not dehydrated. She won't sleep because the poor little girl is starving.

Last night it took me 3.5 hours of her screaming to get her to sleep. I broke the rules and nursed her every two hours last night. I walked up and down the halls with her in my arms or her in the stroller. I even put sugar water on the nipple of the bottle. She adamantly refused. She finally fell asleep at 2:15am. I fell asleep too. 

We have had really great nurses until now. At 4:00am, a different nurse came to check her diaper and take her vitals. She did not like that our nurse hadn't done it yet, because I had been struggling to get her to sleep and now we were finally sleeping. She wanted him to have done it already, even though he told her we had a horrible night. So I wake up at 4:00am to her lowering the crib. 

"What are you doing? You will wake her."

"Her blood pressure needs to be measured and I want to check her diaper."

"No. Don't touch her. I spent hours getting her to sleep. You absolutely cannot wake her."

"But I need to check-"

"Nothing will have changed in an hour or two. Go out now and let us sleep."

"No, I-"

"No, you don't. In an hour. Bye."

This morning Tehilla was finally hungry enough to eat 70cc of a bottle. I bathed and weighed her. She went down 10g. She weighs 6.165kg. That's really not that bad. 

Here's the thing, my milk can't build up without sleep and if I'm stressed. But I can't get any sleep in the hospital. And it's stressful. I'll be talking to Dr. Erez about that when he gets here.

Now, I'm going to nap.