No Worries

I apologize for being incommunicado for several days. We went through several bad nights in a row with Tehilla which left me walking around like a zombie. Tehilla was waking up the past few nights at 12:00 am, 1:30 am, 2:00 am (wouldn't want to miss out on an opportunity), 4:00 am and then 5:15 am for the day. She was hungry. No, not hungry- famished to the point of psychotic screeching.

So, the past few days, Ron and I have been walking around, exhausted beyond belief, finding ourselves in rooms of our home, not remembering why we went there, or even how we got there, calling people, with no memory of the purpose of the call and- well, you get the idea.

Last night, G-d bless her, she only woke up at 12:00 am for a drink of water, but then slept until 6:30 am. But...it seems, Tehilla is starting to put on some weight, finally. I hope that the past few nights was the result of a growth spurt. She is chubby-ing up and developing a second chin...or a third.

She is still eating around the clock, but still loving her smoothies. I have been sneaking more and more healthy fatty ingredients in there, and she is not noticing. We actually refer to them as "fat smoothies".

We are coming up to a month post-surgery- the time that our cardiologist gave us to keep Tehilla infection free. After that, she is allowed to be exposed to people, again. The thought gives me such mixed emotions. I keep thinking myself, "So, we're just going to take her around people? Groups of people? That's insane." Then, I remind myself that that's what normal people do. It's amazing the way that this entire journey has changed us. Sometimes, I have been out and will see a mother with a very young baby in a crowd of people, and I feel like charging up to her and shouting, "Are you crazy? Don't you know the dangers that you are exposing your baby to????" Then, I kind of slap and shake myself and remind myself to get a grip.

So, I'm anxious but insanely excited. We miss our friends and we miss spending holidays and events with them. So, we are ripping off the band-aid and having Tzviel's 5th birthday party this week at our house. Filled with kids and our friends and family. We're just diving into it and going to have a blast, hopefully.