Thursday, October 1, 2015

Dear Tehilla

To my dearest, sweet Tehilla,

Two years ago, I turned my alarm off, having not slept the entire night, and got out of bed. I looked around my room and wondered when I would be back home again. We woke Mechal and Tzviel, got them ready and out the door and off to school.

Two years ago, I took a shower and tried to stop my hands from shaking, as I scrubbed my enormously pregnant belly. You kicked me hard and I started crying. I nicked myself while shaving, and started bleeding heavily. I started panicking and breathing unevenly and your father had to help me out of the shower.

Two years ago, we took a taxi to the hospital, carrying two bags with us: one for me and one for you. I changed into a hospital gown and stared at the walls, while the hospital personnel swirled around me. They pushed my c-section ahead and I was grateful that the horrible waiting would end.

Two years ago, our family and friends raced to the hospital, so that we would have 10 men to make a minyan and name you right away. I walked into the operating room and had some wonderful surgical nurses who had looked over the paperwork before hand. They knew to stroke my back and give me knowing looks, but not to smile or act overly joyous.

Two years ago, a team of pediatricians walked in to the operating room with a bassinet. Everyone knew to talk in hushed tones. Your father came in and sat next to my head and they began the surgery shortly after.

Two years ago, you were born. You didn't cry at first, and I thought I would die. You let out a big shriek and I whispered your name, "Tehilla". They brought you quickly to us, so we could see you, and then put you in the bassinet and started cleaning you off and testing you. They rushed you out of the room and straight to the NICU.

Two year ago, your father left right after you, and rushed to the shul. Our family and friends had made it on time. A man that we had never met assisted your father in finding the proper prayer to say to name you. He then suddenly said the prayer himself and named you. We fondly joke that he may have been Eliyahu Ha'navi (Elijah the Prophet).

Today, you are a two year old little girl. You have big blue eyes and hardly any blonde hair. You are completely fearless. You laugh and run, and love to play dress-up. You smack the cat, and pick fights with your brother and sister who are double and triple your size. You demand drinking yogurts all day, and insist that everything is yours.

Today, you are strong, stable, and a complete joy. You have survived three heart surgeries, even when the odds were against you. You survived a heart attack during one of your three heart catheters. You have one more heart surgery in the next year or two.

Today, you bring smiles to our faces. You are a complete blessing and not a day goes by, when we don't thank G-d that you are here.

Happy birthday, baby girl!


  1. So beautiful. Wishing you only good things from now on. xxx

  2. B"H she is a miracle! G-d has challenged you and your husband. He has tested you as He tested Abraham. You are strong. You have passed so many tests! May G-d continue to watch over you and your beautiful three children. May He bless you all, and may we all watch with joy as the years go by and Tehilla grows and thrives.

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