Monday, April 23, 2018

Part 8: Stigma and Upheaval

Tzviel's family never met or interacted with the school guidance counselor, despite several months of working closely with the staff at the school to help his anxiety. It was only once the topic of medication came up, that a meeting was called. Tzviel's mother tried explaining the 3 years of history of Tzviel's anxiety, about his sister's special heart and the current situation. The guidance counselor's suggestions were that his family was "doing too much", didn't really know what was wrong with Tzviel and that they needed parenting classes.

Despite her lack of qualifications, she pushed strongly to remove Tzviel from any medications. The guidance counselor immediately notified the principal after the meeting, that Tzviel's mother was a crazy obsessive mother who was self medicating her child and likely importing medication from abroad. (Laugh. It's the only way to process this bit. Much easier than crying- trust me.)

When Tzviel's mother met with the principal, she was interrogated about how she was obtaining medications and who was overseeing to Tzviel's care. Nothing productive came out of that meeting, except for Tzviel's mother demanding that the guidance counselor not be involved whatsoever.

Tzviel had started his new medication. For eight blissful days, Tzviel breathed deeply like he hadn't been able to for three years. He smiled, he interacted, he functioned. His parents got to see the version of Tzviel that they had been missing for so long.

If only things could have stayed that way. Adverse effects came on and made Tzviel's anxiety come back with a fury. Raising doses only made things worse and sent Tzviel into a tailspin.

When a classmate called Tzviel crazy and weird and pushed him, Tzviel went into a serious anxiety attack. Tzviel's homeroom teacher came to calm him, but the guidance counselor kept interrupting. The guidance counselor called and Tzviel's mother raced to school. His mother pulled up to the school to see Tzviel running in the rain being chased by his teacher, the guidance counselor, the cleaner and the guard. She watched as Tzviel scaled the fence, desperate to get away. Upon seeing his mother, Tzviel breathed and agreed to come to the car to calm down. The guidance counselor was adamant that this was not an anxiety attack and couldn't understand why Tzviel had disassociated and didn't respond to her.

Two days later an email was sent from the school, demanding an official letter that Tzviel was not a danger to himself or to others. Because an 8 year old boy climbed a fence.

Tzviel's family realized that until Tzviel was stable, the school was ill-equipped to help him and would only exacerbate the situation. All of Tzviel's doctors were consulted and the decision was made to homeschool-homecare for Tzviel until he was stable.

Tzviel's parents sat him down and explained that his anxiety was just like a very bad virus. Without giving his body and mind some time to rest, his body would work too hard and couldn't get better. His anxiety had to be taken care of and when he was well, they would slowly start school again. Tzviel breathed deeply and whispered, "Thank you."

Tzviel went to bed that first night, calmly and without any stress. He fell to sleep instantly and slept for 14 hours. The stress and exhaustion of the situation had caught up with him. Now he could begin healing. 

Friday, April 13, 2018

Part 7: More Help

Tzviel's mother had spoken in great length to their family doctor and to his therapist. It seemed that despite all the help that Tzviel was getting, the chemical component to his anxiety was still rising.

Tzviel's mother sat him down and said, "Tzviel, your anxiety has been pretty hard for you lately. You've been working so hard for so long to try to control it. There are different kinds of sicknesses. Some of them make us uncomfortable, but they can go away on their own. Like a cold. You sneeze for a bunch of days, feel pretty bad, but afterwards, it goes away. Sometimes that cold doesn't go away and causes a cough. We bring you the humidifier, rub some Vicks on your chest and work a bit harder to get you better. And some times that cough gets into your chest and causes an infection like bronchitis. In that case, we need medication to clear out the infection. You would still need the humidifier and the Vicks to help you get better, but without the medication, your body can't feel well."

"We can go to a special doctor and talk about your anxiety. He can give you a medication that will take your anxiety down, so that you can work on it again and control it better. All of our doctors think it's a good idea and will help you start to enjoy school again and stop your stomach problems. What do you think?"

Tzviel looked into his mother's eyes and simply nodded his head and said, "That sounds like a good idea."

When Tzviel met his psychiatrist, he liked him right away. He spoke softly and asked him all about himself, his family and friends. They spoke about sports and movies and Tzviel felt himself relaxing.

When his psychiatrist finally said, "So, Tzviel, can you tell me why you are here?" Tzviel answered, "I really need help with my anxiety." His psychiatrist said, "Wow, that's a great thing to hear you say. Who should talk to me about your anxiety? You or your mother?" "My mother," Tzviel answered.

While Tzviel's mother started talking about his little sister's heart and about all the hospital stays, Tzviel felt himself feel bad. He started moving his body around, and felt himself sink to the floor and hide under the desk. He ran to the other side of the room, and crouched into a small space between a chair and the wall.

Tzviel's psychiatrist said, "Got it."

(To be continued)

Sunday, April 8, 2018

Part 6: Frozen in Anxiety

Second grade started in September for Tzviel and he got a new wonderful homeroom teacher. She was kind and greeted the kids with a smile. He liked her very much and was able to warm up to her. There were many other teachers introduced. Some were nice and warm. Others walked into the classroom, slamming books and talking sternly. Tzviel started to feel very on edge with each subject change.

Two weeks into the school year, Tzviel's incredible homeroom teacher asked to speak with Tzviel's mother. The year had only just begun, and she had seen little windows into Tzviel's wonderful personality, but she had concerns. Tzviel seemed to sit frozen in class, with his hands tight in fists. After a long conversation explaining Tzviel's anxiety, his mother consulted with his CBT therapist, who provided the teacher with a list of techniques that could help "ground" Tzviel when she noticed his anxiety. They stuffed his pockets with stress balls to squeeze, lined the bottom of his desk with velcro for him to touch, made up code words so he could go to the hallway and do some jumping jacks and a bunch of other things.

Tzviel appreciated that his teacher understood him and knew how to help him. With her, he was able to relax a little bit. But all other teachers made him feel uneasy. Tzviel would come home from school exhausted from trying to keep his anxiety under control all day. Each morning was again a battle to go to school, not wanting to have to endure another day. His stomach problems came back even worse and were now causing daily problems.

His parents worked closely with his CBT therapist, utilizing every technique they could. But Tzviel's anxiety kept climbing. When Parent Teacher meetings came around, Tzviel's mother sat down with his homeroom teacher. She said:

"Tzviel is such a bright, sweet boy. You need to know that he is extremely intelligent and has tested into the national gifted project. He is also such a sweet, kind, good heart-ed kid. I've been speaking with all of his other teachers. We all see him completely frozen with his anxiety. As smart as he is, at this point, he isn't learning and we can't teach him."

(To be continued.)