Monday, April 23, 2018

Part 8: Stigma and Upheaval

Tzviel's family never met or interacted with the school guidance counselor, despite several months of working closely with the staff at the school to help his anxiety. It was only once the topic of medication came up, that a meeting was called. Tzviel's mother tried explaining the 3 years of history of Tzviel's anxiety, about his sister's special heart and the current situation. The guidance counselor's suggestions were that his family was "doing too much", didn't really know what was wrong with Tzviel and that they needed parenting classes.

Despite her lack of qualifications, she pushed strongly to remove Tzviel from any medications. The guidance counselor immediately notified the principal after the meeting, that Tzviel's mother was a crazy obsessive mother who was self medicating her child and likely importing medication from abroad. (Laugh. It's the only way to process this bit. Much easier than crying- trust me.)

When Tzviel's mother met with the principal, she was interrogated about how she was obtaining medications and who was overseeing to Tzviel's care. Nothing productive came out of that meeting, except for Tzviel's mother demanding that the guidance counselor not be involved whatsoever.

Tzviel had started his new medication. For eight blissful days, Tzviel breathed deeply like he hadn't been able to for three years. He smiled, he interacted, he functioned. His parents got to see the version of Tzviel that they had been missing for so long.

If only things could have stayed that way. Adverse effects came on and made Tzviel's anxiety come back with a fury. Raising doses only made things worse and sent Tzviel into a tailspin.

When a classmate called Tzviel crazy and weird and pushed him, Tzviel went into a serious anxiety attack. Tzviel's homeroom teacher came to calm him, but the guidance counselor kept interrupting. The guidance counselor called and Tzviel's mother raced to school. His mother pulled up to the school to see Tzviel running in the rain being chased by his teacher, the guidance counselor, the cleaner and the guard. She watched as Tzviel scaled the fence, desperate to get away. Upon seeing his mother, Tzviel breathed and agreed to come to the car to calm down. The guidance counselor was adamant that this was not an anxiety attack and couldn't understand why Tzviel had disassociated and didn't respond to her.

Two days later an email was sent from the school, demanding an official letter that Tzviel was not a danger to himself or to others. Because an 8 year old boy climbed a fence.

Tzviel's family realized that until Tzviel was stable, the school was ill-equipped to help him and would only exacerbate the situation. All of Tzviel's doctors were consulted and the decision was made to homeschool-homecare for Tzviel until he was stable.

Tzviel's parents sat him down and explained that his anxiety was just like a very bad virus. Without giving his body and mind some time to rest, his body would work too hard and couldn't get better. His anxiety had to be taken care of and when he was well, they would slowly start school again. Tzviel breathed deeply and whispered, "Thank you."

Tzviel went to bed that first night, calmly and without any stress. He fell to sleep instantly and slept for 14 hours. The stress and exhaustion of the situation had caught up with him. Now he could begin healing. 

8 comments:

  1. Sending you endless hugs, strength, and love!

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  2. Hugs . Lots of hugs. Rest relax.Remember one day at a time.

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  3. Home is sometimes best. I wish you and Tzviel a positive healing time together. xxx

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  4. In life there are heros and villians. Heros often come in pairs, or in your case, in families. (see "Incredibles"). And then there's the villians. We fight them, and they make us stronger. Stay strong, and we fight the battles and win the wars. We can pray that certain guidance counselors wake up one day, but fight for whats right and what we know to be true, and we will rewarded for it.
    You are an inspiration. plain and simple.

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  5. I want to beat up that guidance counselor. How awful :(

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  6. the guidence counselor should be fired (at the least.) best wishes and good health to all your wonderful family!

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  7. this is all so hard, Shoshana. Sending you love and hugs <3

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