Saturday, September 27, 2014

Our Journey

We just completed a wonderful three day holiday, filled with delicious food, a great time with friends and some family, and incredible quality family time.

We started off Rosh Hashanah (explanation) with Tehilla having a cold and starting to develop a slight fever. By Wednesday night, it looked like she had an infected eye. We started to get really worried that this was going to be a mess of a holiday. But in fact, some sleep and rest did the trick and she has been doing much better.

Tehilla has started to call Mechal "Mich". She crawls around yelling "Mich! Mich!" and then hands her toys or food. She has also started cruising along furniture. Thank G-d, all is doing well with Tehilla.

Last Tuesday, I was invited to speak at a pediatric patient care conference at our hospital, Hadassah Ein Kerem for this coming Wednesday. I will be giving a 30 minute speech about Tehilla, this blog and Little Lev. I really can not properly express how stunned I am by this. It will be in front of nurses, doctors and surgeons- a bit of an intimidating audience.

This Rosh Hashana, I had the opportunity to go to shul (synagogue) for some time. It was an unusual experience this time around. Without sounding too dramatic, the situation that we are in with Tehilla, forces us to think about life and death, at least once a day. Our journey has opened us up to a world of unwell children. We always knew about these kind of situations, but it was so far removed from our reality. If you could only truly understand what a ridiculous miracle it is when a child is born into this world completely healthy.

I can only speak for myself. In the past, my family's and my mortality was not something I thought about on a daily basis. So, when I got to Rosh Hashanah, it was a heavy experience. I would beg and plead and took the entire holiday with extreme seriousness, as well as some festivity.

This year felt different. This year, I felt comfortable standing and listening to the shofar being blown, knowing that every day I try to live life to the fullest with my children. It sounds inappropriate, but at one point, I felt like laughing during the prayers. I kept thinking to myself, "I spend so much time worrying, and it comes down to this day. This is the day. Make it count, Shoshana."

And I did. I pulled from all my anxiety over Tehilla's heart and prayed. I prayed that Tehilla continue to be a source of praise to G-d. I prayed that she live and thrive. That Mechal and Tzviel live and thrive. I prayed for all of our friends and family to continue to see good in their lives.

This week on Wednesday, the day I am supposed to give my speech, is Tehilla's 1st birthday. Expect a bunch of emotional blog posts. I can not think about the day without tears filling my eyes. Our journey has made a full circle- and now I have been asked to talk about it, in order to inspire the medical world to provide better care for children.

To a year filled with laughter, treasured memories, time to enjoy and the wisdom to appreciate everything.

1 comment:

  1. Shoshana, you will do just great in your speech.

    Do not worry. You have a gift, nay, many gifts. You are an inspiration to many.
    A great mother, wife, and a great friend and above all a child of Hashem, like we all are.
    You will stand in front of the audience, and Hashem will be right there. With Hashem there, you need have not fear.

    Will be rooting for you.

    Hashem bless you.